The Gaang and I
by The One-Winged Author
Summary: The gaang is teleported to my house! Hilarious to the max!
1. There Here!

Don't own Avatar. Sigh. Note: The story will be in script format. This is inspired by ZutaraKid and her Avatar piece. I'll try to keep my story original.

…

One night, I'm watching The Western Air Temple episode, when probe lights filled the screen.

Me: AHHHHHHHHHHH! SEIZURE! ANIME RELATED SEIZURE!!!!!!!

Suddenly, Aang, Sokka, Toph, Katara, and Zuko flew out of my T.V.! Aang crashed into the foot of my bed, Sokka landed in a chair, Toph bashed into a wall, Zuko rolled across the floor, and Katara landed on me.

Me: This is just plain awkward.

Katara got off me. The Gaang huddled in the middle of the room, scared and confused.

Gaang: We're scared and confused,

Author: I just said that.

Zuko: So! We were just teleported into a 13 year old kid's room! We deserve to state are current emotions!

Author: OOOOOOOOOOkay.

Me: The main characters of Avatar just appeared in my bedroom. Find out what happens in the next chapter!

Author: Wait, wait, wait, you can't end the chapter right here!

Me: why not?

Author: Because this chapter is to short.

Me: Fine, fine (mumbles to self) stupid author.

Author: HEARD THAT!!! (Strikes me with lightning)

Me: Alright, Mr. Sensitive.

Katara: Who are you?

Me: Call me-

Author: WAIT!!!!!

Me: ARE YOU GOING TO KEEP INTERUPPTING?!

Author: Don't tell the readers your real name. You have to keep that aura of mystery. Your name will now be Wing,

Me: Que?

Author: Wing. As in The One _Wing_ed Author! (laughs at his own joke)

Me: Oh wow. The author makes a pun.

Everyone in a non emotional voice: Ha ha ha.

Toph: Anyway, where are we?

Me: You are all in (quickly gets into Uncle Sam costume) THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!!!!!!

Sokka: Is that in the Fire Nation?

Me: No, you all flew out of my T.V. set.

Aang: How will we get back?

Me: Not sure, but you are welcome to stay. I live here by myself, thus leaving lots of questions that don't need to be answered.

Katara: Where are your parents?

Me: Let me repeat, 'thus leaving lots of questions that don't need to be answered'.

Katara crosses her arms.

Me: I only have three extra rooms, so one of you will get your own room. I get to pick the rooms.

Sokka: Why?

Me: Because.

Sokka: Because?

Me: Because because.

Sokka: Because because?

Me: Because because bec-

Toph: PICK THE ROOMS ALREADY! I'M TIRED!!!!!!!

Me: First room: since I like Zutara to a fair degree, Katara and Zuko are sharing.

Katara and Zuko: SAY WHAT?!?!?!

Me: No complaining. Okay, second room: Sokka and Aang.

Aang: Can I room with someone else, like maybe a water bender.

Me: I SUPPORT ZUTARA!!!!!!

Aang cowers in fear.

Me: Toph, since you're my favorite character for your witty sarcastic humor. You get your own room.

Toph: SWEET!!!

Me: By the way, I also support Toko friendship, so you and Zuko will be forced to be the best of friends.

Zuko: Why?

Me: Because I know people, who know people, who DESTROY people.

Zuko and Toph link arms.

Zuko puts on a huge fake smile.

Zuko: We're going to be the best of friends, right Toph?

Toph (also supporting fake smile): We sure are, old buddy old pal.

Me: Alright then, Goodnight.

Everyone: Goodnight!

You like? Please review!


	2. Barnes and Noble, Ahoy!

Hey! I'm writing this about 5 seconds after I submitted Chapter 1. So I don't expect reviews. Don't own Avatar. Enjoy!

…

Me: Morning! How did everyone sleep!

(Copy and paste your own version of the Gaang giving me death stares.)

Me: Instead of everyone telling me what happened, let's just go to flashback.

**FLASHBACK**

In Zuko and Katara's room:

Zuko wakes up to find Katara hugging him in her sleep.

Katara (Obviously in a dream like state): Zuko…so…warm.

Zuko (Copy and paste your own version of Zuko's comic horror face): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

In Sokka and Aang's room:

Sokka wakes to find Aang hugging him in his sleep.

Aang: Katara…so…warm.

Sokka (Copy and paste your own version of Sokka's comic horror face): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

In Toph's room:

Toph wakes up to the sound of Zuko and Sokka screaming.

Toph: Idiots.

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Me: Wow. I thought I had bad mornings. Anyway, I'm planning to go to Barnes and Noble. Who wants to come!

Everyone except Toph: ME!!!!

Toph: Yeah, let's take a blind girl to a bookshop. Hoo-rah.

Katara: How will we get there?

Me: I'll drive!

Aang: But your only 13.

Me: That never stopped me before!!!

…

We're driving down the road.

Me: everyone got there seatbelts on?

Toph: Those things are for sissies.

I slam the brakes. Toph crashes into the windshield.

Me: What did you learn…?

…

We arrive in the B&N parking lot. A car steals my parking spot.

Me: THAT SPOT WAS SO MINE!!!!

Zuko: I'll handle this.

Zuko gets out of the car and shoots a fireball at the other car, incinerating it. Everyone's eyes are as wide as saucer plates.

Zuko: Coming in or what?

Me: O...o...Okay.

Me (whispering to the group): For now on, we don't mess with Zuko.

Everyone: Agreed.

…

Inside the store

Me: Okay, go where you want to go, just stay inside the store.

Everyone spreads out…

…

Inside the Music/DVD section:

Aang finds an Avatar DVD with Zuko's picture on the cover.

Aang: Look, you have that stupid ponytail!

Zuko: MY PONYTAIL IS NOT STUPID!!!!!

Zuko then chases Aang.

…

In the Magazine stands:

Sokka picks up a copy of MAD Magazine.

Sokka: HAHAHAHAHA…satirical humor.

…

In the Teen Books:

Katara: MUST…MEET…THIS…EDWARD…CULLEN!!!!!!!

…

Later:

Me: Okay, all of you except Toph have caused havoc in this place.

Katara: Think again. Toph found the built in Starbucks.

Toph (who is literally bouncing off the walls): COFFEE, COFFEE, COFFEE, COFFEE, COFFEE!!!!

Back at the house:

Me: Okay, what did you guys buy?

Aang: Katara bought Twilight.

Katara (rocking back and forth in a chair while clutching the book to her chest): Edward…Edward…Edward…Edward.

Me: creepy.

Aang: I bought 'How to Date Water Benders'.

Everyone stares at him.

Aang: KATARA WILL BE MINE!!!! (Runs up stairs)

Zuko: I bought 'How to Make Everything Flammable'.

Everyone takes a step back away from him.

Sokka: I bought 'Boomerangs and You'.

Me: Weird, it just felt like the little respect I had for Sokka suddenly flew away. Anyway, I bought 'How to Make Avatar Characters Go Back into TV's'.

Sokka: So harsh.

Me: Alright, bedtime!

Zuko: But it's only 2:00!

Me: Author!

Author: Yes?

Me: Make it nighttime.

Author: Fine, but you have to tell me I'm beautiful later!

Me: Oka- wait, what?

Author: Never mind. Let there be darkness.

Author makes it dark, thus ending the chapter.

Awesome, is it not? Please Review


	3. A Boring AND Odd AND Crazy Day!

I want to thank my first 3 reviewers. Don't own Avatar.

…

Me: I'm bored.

Aang: Me too.

Katara: Me three.

Sokka: Me four.

Toph: Me fiv-

Author: WE GET IT ALL READY!!!!!!

Me: We could play video games.

Toph: Not after last time.

**FLASHBACK**

Everyone is playing Guitar Hero: World Tour. Toph, who is singing, lets out a high note that smashes all the

windows in the house.

Everyone: TOPH!!!!

Toph: I'll fix it…

**END FLASHBACK**

Me: I'm going to fix the T.V. so you can go back home.

Katara: You don't like us here?

Me: Actually, look at this newspaper article.

Newspaper (who can talk): Ever since the main characters from Avatar disappeared from the show,

everything Avatar has disappeared. Including every re-run. Creators Mike DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko

had this to say:

Mike & Bryan (On hands and knees and crying): COME BACK GAANG, COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: So I need to get you back in the show before anyone knows you're here.

Sokka (who is waving out the window): Hello world, It's me, Sokka, from Avatar!

I throw a shoe at Sokka.

Me: BAD SOKKA, THAT'S A NO-NO!!!

Doorbell rings. I answer it, revealing my friend Sushi.

Sushi: Is there any reason why Sokka is waving out your window like an idiot?

Me: He's just an idiot.

I lead the Gaang and Sushi to my T.V.

Me: Okay, I'm going to turn on the T.V., one, two, THREE!!!!!

Portal appears.

Me: YES!!!!!!!! QUICK, GET BACK IN BEFORE-

I'm interrupted as Azula falls through the portal, which closes.

Me. NOOOOOOOOOO!

I slam Azula's head into the T.V. multiple times.

Me: GET. BACK. IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Azula: Where am I!!!!!!!!!

(Copy and paste your version of the Gaang explaining what happened.)

Azula charges lighting at me.

Me: Sushi, save me!!!!!!

I pull Sushi in front of me. She gets blasted with lightning and crashes out the window. Azula fires more

lightning at me. I dodge it.

Sushi (crawling back in the room): I'm okay.

The lighting hits Sushi again, sending her out the window again.

Azula: YOU WILL ALL FACE THE WRATH OF-

Azula is knocked out by a baseball bat.

Sushi: WHAT!!!!!

Me: Where can we put her?

The Gang throws her on my bed.

Me: NO, crazy, psychotic princess off my bed!

Sushi: Let's just leave her on the floor.

All: Agreed.

Me: I think that enough action. Author, end the chapter.

Author: Okay. Ending chapter in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

………………………………………………………

Author: I like dramatic chapter ending. And now closing comments.

………………………………………………………

Please Review! By the way, I didn't create Sushi. She is actually my real-life friend who I promised would be in this story. If any of you want to make a special appearance in a chapter, just ask in your review! Before I go, I realized that poor Zuko wasn't recognized in this chapter. So…

Zuko: Hi, I just…

Author: There, you are now in the chapter!

Zuko: But…

Author: Later!


	4. Azula's revenge!

A Note: Just for asking, Bresule will be a character in this chapter and possibly other chapters. Happy

Reading!

…

Azula wakes up on floor.

Azula: Where am I?

She looks up to see several aliens looking at her.

Alien: Is she okay?

Azula: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Aliens!

Me: Sokka! Turn off the face-distorter!

Sokka (Flicks random switch): But it was funny!

Everyone: Ha Ha, good times.

Me: Anyway, now we have another guest in my house.

Zuko: Where will she sleep?

Me: On the couch. Downstairs. So we can sleep without one eye open.

Azula: BUT I'M A PRINCESS!

Me: Yes and the couch is now your throne.

Azula (runs down stairs): I will have my revenge!

Me: Okay, now down to important stuff. Taco Bell for lunch?

Everyone: Yep.

…

After a fine Taco Bell lunch, and a fine half-hour trip to the ER due to Toph daring Sokka to swallow ten

pouches of fire sauce. The Gaang and I (HAHA Title pun.) return home.

Azula (Copy and Paste your evil Azula smile): Hello.

Everyone (Copy and Paste your version of their puzzled/scared look seeing your copy and paste version of

Azula's evil smile): …

Azula: Allow me to introduce my side kick, Bresule!

Bresule: Hi!

Azula: Enough chit-chat!

Me: I don't recall us chitting or chatting.

Azula: Let's fight!

Me (Randomly pulls out XXXXXXXXXXL times ten infinity holy crap sized battle axe): Let's!

(Copy and Paste –

Author: STOP COPY AND PASTING AND WRITE OUT THE BATTLE!

Me: I could do that.

Author: Great.

Me: But…

Throws battle axe at author.

Author: OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Now where were we-?

(Copy and Paste your own epic fight of biblical proportions)

…

1 hour and several battle axe scars later-

Azula and Bresule are tied up.

Me: Well Gaang, We learned a lot today.

Toph: Like how to beat evil using bending and battle axes?

Aang: Or to never give Sokka hot sause?

Katara: Or to never hit the author with battle axes since it causes a high hospital bill?

Me: Yes, yes, and unfortunately yes.

Zuko: Let's celebrate with pizza!

Everyone jumps in the air in victory and freezes as chapter ends…

…

I would like to thank Bresule for being in this chapter. Remember, if you ask, you_ could_ be in a new chapter! Before we go, Sokka would like to give a PSA:

Sokka: Everyone, no matter how funny it may be, DO NOT SWALLOW 10 TACO BELL FIRE SAUCE POUCHES!

Thank you Sokka! P.s. I have no clue what to write about next, so next chap might take a while!


	5. Dreams!

Since no one has asked yet, no one will be in this chapter… OR WILL THEY? Happy Reading!

…

I wake up in the middle of the night,

Me: I can't sleep.

Turns on T.V. The Sponge-Bob Square Pants episode where Sponge-Bob invades people's dreams is on.

Light bulb appears over my head.

Me: This gives me an idea!

Light bulb falls and breaks on my head.

…

Me: Let's visit Zuko's dream!

Teleports into Zuko's dream

Me: Why is Zuko dreaming about a field?

I hear rumbling. I get out of the way as I see-

Me: Unicorns?!

I run up to Zuko.

Me: Zuko, what are you doing?

Zuko: I'm dancing with the unicorn fairies!

Me (really, really, _really, _creeped out): You have fun with that.

I teleport out of Zuko's dream.

Me: I will never look at him the same way again.

I go over to Katara.

Me (Mario impression): Let's go!

I teleport into Katara's dream, finding myself underwater.

Me: I CAN'T BREATH I CAN'T BREATH!!!!!

I slap myself for realizing this is a dream.

Katara swims over to me.

Katara (shows off mermaid tail): Look! I'm a mermaid!

Me: It's really dark down here.

I pull out electric flashlight.

Katara: DON'T TURN THAT ON!!!!!

Being a rebel, I turn it on.

Katara is shocked and turns into a fish stick.

Me: YUMMY!

I eat fish stick.

Author: OMG! YOU ATE KATARA!

Me: But…But…she tasted so good!

Author: Cannibal!

I quickly leave dream.

Me: Let's see Toph's dream!

I teleport into Toph's dream.

I appear in a totally pink room with several ladies in frilly dresses.

Me: …

Toph appears and let's out a battle cry.

(Copy and Paste your version of Toph smashing and cause harm to everything.)

Toph: DEATH TO GIRLY STUFF!

Me: Why am I not surprised?

I teleport out of the dream and into Sokka's dream.

Me: Only Sokka would dream of a world made of meat.

Sokka: Hey, you're just in time!

Me: In time for what?

Sokka: In time to watch Suki and Yue battle to the death over me.

Me: WHAT?!

(Copy and Paste your version of Suki and Yue, who are both made entirely of meat, fighting to the death)

Me: I think I've seen enough here.

I teleport into Aang's dream.

I see Aang with about ten Katara's dancing around him

One Katara: Oh Aang, you're so much cuter than Zuko!

Me: I know where this is going, so I better leave!

I teleport into Azula's dream.

(Because Azula is a crazed psychopath and would dream of what crazed psychopaths would usually dream of, the following dream is **CENSORED!**)

Me: I. MAY. NEVER. SLEEP. AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

Goes back to room.

Me: I have one more dream to visit!

I teleport into ZutaraKid50 AKA Kimono's dream.

Me: What am I doing at a wedding?

Unknown voice: Now that you, Katara, take you, Zuko, to be together, you are know husband and wife!

ZutaraKid50: ZUTARA ZUTARA ZUTARA ZUTARA!

Me: Again, why am I not surprised?

…

Back in my room.

Me: Now I can go back to sleep!

(Falls asleep)

Everyone whose dream I went into: Let's get him!

ZutaraKid50: Okay, 3…2…1…

…

I think you know what happens next! I what to thank ZutaraKid50 for being in this chapter! Please Read and Review!


	6. The Birthday Special!

Welcome to a special episode of The Gaang and I! Why is it special? Because it's my birthday that's why!!!

…

Me: WAKE UP!!!!

Gaang: WHY?

Me: BECAUSE TOMORROW'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!

Author: WHY IS EVERYONE SPEAKING IN ALL CAPS!!!

Me: I DON'T KNOW!!!

Toph: Tomorrow's your birthday?

Me: Yep! I'm turning 14!

Aang: Let's plan a party!

Zuko: Why should we after last chapter's events?

**FLASHBACK**

(Copy and paste your recap of last chapter)

**END FLASHBACK**

Katara: So why should we plan a party for you?

Me (pulls out battle axe from chapter 4): Because my battle axe says so.

Zuko: OOOOOkay, let's plan a party!

…

Zuko: here is the plan: Toph and Azula will decorate while the rest of us shop.

Azula: Why do I have to work?

Sokka: Unless you want battle axe related blood stains on you, you better help!

Aang: Look what I found!

Sokka: A list of birthday presents, I wonder where that came from?

Gaang watches mysterious person *cough* Me *cough* sneak away.

Zuko: let's look at the list.

LIST:

POKEMON PLATINUM

WATCHMEN JACKET

NINTENDO DSi

Katara: Let's go shopping!

…

At the mall:

Zuko and Katara are in Gamestop.

Zuko: I got the DSi and Pokemon.

Katara (playing Xbox 360): DIE ZOMBIE DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

Zuko: OOOOkay, no more video games for you!

In Hot Topic:

Sokka: Cool jacket!

Hot Topic employee who has many piercings: May I help you?

Aang: AHHHHHHHHHHH! GOTH!!!!!!!!

Back at house:

(Copy and paste your version of decorated house)

Sokka: where is Azula?

Toph: knocked out.

Katara: How did that happen?

**Flashback**

Azula: Let's get started!

Gets knocked out by rock

Toph: Sweet!

**END FLASHBACK**

Doorbell rings

Person: Hi, we're here for the party!

Zuko: Who are you?

Person: I'm FooFooCuddlyPoops and this is WriterG08.

Me: Welcome to the party!

ZutaraKid50: you wouldn't forget Bresule, Sushi, and I?

Me: come and join!

WriterG08: PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!

Sushi: LET THE PARTY BEGIN!

(Copy and paste your version of cake, present opening, and mayhem at my party)

Me: Bye guys! Okay, Gaang, time for bed!

Looks to see the Gaang passed out

Me: You guys rock!

Author (Mocking voice): Aw! You're showing affection for the Gaang! How sweet!

Me: THAT'S IT! (Pulls out battle axe)

Author: Not again!

…

HAHA. The author will never learn. FYI today _is _my birthday! You can proceed to sing happy birthday to me if you wish! Anything that was obviously not mine in the chapter was… well… not mine! Thanks to FooFooCuddlyPoops, WriterG08, ZutaraKid50, Bresule, and Sushi for being in this chapter!


	7. EASTER!

It's official! The Gaang and I is my most reviewed story! Thanks for reviewing!

…

The Gaang is sitting around.

Zuko: I wish something interesting would happen.

A giant bunny jumps on Zuko.

Aang: that seems interesting!

Zuko: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!

Me (who was inside the bunny costume): HAPPY EASTER!!!!!!

Toph: Eas-what?

Me: Easter, you know... chocolate, eggs, bunnies who apparently lay them.

Sokka: Bunnies don't lay eggs! Everyone knows that they use their ears to signal their own alien planet so that an energy beam can beam down a baby bunny!

Me: Sokka, after this chapter I'm going to tell you everything that is wrong with that sentence. But to answer your question, it's just a myth.

Sokka: Oookay!

Katara: I want to see Zuko scream again!

Zuko: That bunny costume won't scare me again.

Me (puts on costume again): ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Zuko: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! GIANT BUNNY!!!!!!!! DON'T LET HIM GET ME MOMMY!!!!!!!!!

Azula: classic.

…

Me: Hey Toph, Zuko's in his room, go cheer him up!

Toph: Why?

Me: Remember in Chapter 1 when I said I support Toko friendship?

Toph: But he's mad, so no!

Me (Pulls out infamous battle axe): Is that your final answer?

Toph: Where's his room again?

…

Toph: Zuko, you okay?

Zuko: I was just publicly humiliated. How do you think I feel?

Toph sits beside Zuko.

Toph: We all have fears. Aang fears Ozai and you fear…bunnies. But we'll still be buds.

Zuko: Thanks for the advice Toph,

They hug.

I take picture.

Me: Yes! Toko friendship moment! Score one for me!

Toph: Why you!

Zuko and Toph get into battle positions.

I reach for my battle axe…

Me: Where is it?!

Aang, Sokka, Katara, and Azula: WE HAVE IT!

Me: Gulp.

I run away as Toph and Zuko fling fire and rocks at me.

…

Me: Now, as an Easter tradition, you will hunt for your Easter baskets. READY…SET…GO!!!!

Everyone but Sokka: But their right in front of us!

Me: Then you found them!

Sokka: Where's mine?

Me: Up that fifty-foot tree.

Sokka: WHAT?!

Me: Chop, chop Skippy.

…

Me: What did you get in your guy's Easter baskets?

Azula: I found a map to Candy Mountain!

Me: I'm going to ignore that lame Charlie the Unicorn reference.

(Copy and Paste everyone else saying what they got for Easter)

Katara: Here is your battle axe back.

Me: Yay! Now time for revenge!

Toph and Zuko: Oh dear…

…

Happy Early Easter! I don't own Charlie the Unicorn! Please Read and Review!


	8. BABB:Battle Axe Beach Brawl!

Summer is finally here! To celebrate, here's a chapter that's sure to rock!

…

Me: Guess what?

Gaang: What?

Me: IT'S SUMMER!

Aang: AHH! SOZIN'S COMET!!!!

Me: Aang, go sit in the idiot corner, now.

Aang: But I'm not –

Me: NOW!!

Aang: Okay.

Me: Anyway, I'm so relieved that I get out of school!

Katara: But you've never been to school in this story.

Me: yes I have.

Zuko: No, I don't believe you have.

Me: yes, I clearly remember going to school.

Toph: Nope, don't think you have.

Azula and Sokka: We don't believe you have either.

Me: Look into my eyes. Yes. I. Have

Gaang: fine

Me: Okay then, on to the big news.

Gaang: big news?

Me: This summer, we are moving to a beach house!

Gaang: YAY!

Me: everyone pack!

Katara: But first we want to discuss this school thing.

Me: EVERYONE. IDIOT CORNER. NOW!!

…

Me: We're at the beach house!

Sokka: IT LOOKS JUST LIKE YOUR HOUSE!

Me: Ah, but it has a beach background.

Aang: I was expecting a mansion!

Me: In this economy! How rich do you think I am! Now excuse me while I get my solid gold surf board!

…

Me: I get to go surfing!

Katara: Have you actually been surfing before?

Me: …sure…ha ha… lots of times.

Toph: then go!

Me: okay,

I go out and last barely 10 seconds.

Me: Okay, so maybe I'm a bit rusty.

Battle Axe: Hey! Take me out before you go surfing!

Me: OMG! MY BATTLE AXE CAN TALK!!!

Battle Axe: That's right! And I'm sick of you mistreating me!

Me: What?! Name one time…

**FLASHBACK**

Katara: Are you using your battle axe as a toothpick?!

Me: Maybe…

Katara: That's dangerous!

Me: No it isn't.

2 minutes later…

Me: Katara, go online and search: Remedies for battle axe lodged in upper jaw…

**END FLASHBACK**

Battle Axe: I can name an instance where every one of you has mistreated me! Now it's time for payback!

Battle Axe morphs into Ultra Battle Axe!

Zuko: You have one freakin' cool battle axe!

Me: Thanks Zuko. NOW RUN!!

(Copy and Paste everyone running around like a decapitated chicken)

Me: BATTLE AXE! STOP!

Battle Axe: Why?!

Me: We'll stop mistreating you…and you'll be a brand new major character! Wouldn't you like that, readers!

Readers: Yes! We would love that!

Battle Axe: And can I have my own spin-off series?

Me: we'll talk.

Battle Axe: And can Johnny Depp star as me in a biography movie about me!

Me: you're pushing it!

Battle Axe: And can I have my own clothing line!

Toph: YOU DON'T EVEN WEAR CLOTHES!

Battle Axe: Well…I can never stay mad at my owner!

Me (gives big flying tackle hug to Battle Axe): Awesome!

Sokka: Now we can enjoy the summer!

Everyone: ALL RIGHT!

…

How was that?! READ AND REVIEW OR I'LL DESTROY YOU! (Just kidding. OR AM I!)


	9. Fun With Zombies!

Another chapter? Already? It hasn't even been a week yet! Oh well…

…

Toph: What are you playing?

Me: Resident Evil 5!

Toph: Is it fun?

Me: Does killing hordes of zombies and saving mankind sound fun?

Toph: Yes!

Me: Then yes, Toph, it is fun.

Toph: Can I play?

Me: You? With your already aggressive nature that is sure to increase to a surely unstable point as a result of

viewing this violent game with blood and gore? SURE!

One Hour Later…

Toph: DIE ZOMBIE DIE!!!

Zuko: Why does that sound familiar?

(Stares at Katara)

Katara: What?

Zuko: Nothing. Nothing at all.

(The rest of the Gaang appear)

Azula: That game looks violent.

Me: It is.

Azula: Can I play?

Me: No.

Azula: Why?

Me: I don't like you!

Azula: AZULA MUST BE LOVED!!!!!!

(Everyone stares)

Azula: What?

Sokka: Moving on. Aang, what is that?

Aang: it's a cell phone. I'm texting Zuko's uncle Iroh.

Everyone looks at the message Aang has typed. It reads:

Got pic message. ROTFLOL!!!! Tea rocks!

Me: Aang, where in the known universe did you receive a cell phone?

Aang: Verizon.

Verizon commercial guys: You're covered!

Aang: I also got a laptop!

Geek Squad guys: We'll help you set it up!

Me: Uh oh, nerds! Out! I banish you!

Geek Squad: Awwww!

Me: Anyway, back to my… look the portal is back!

Everyone is sucked into T.V.

Toph: Where to you think we…Oh My God it's Chris Redfield!

Me: Holy crap! We're in the game!

Sokka: How do you know that for sure?

Chris gets killed by axe-wielding zombie.

Me: does that answer your question?

Toph: NO, CHRIS! I LOVE YOU!

Everyone stares at Toph.

Me: Zombie, eat her.

Zombie eats Toph.

Me: RUN!

Everyone runs, but Azula trips.

Azula: help me up!

Me: No.

Azula: But you're in mere feet of me!

Me: no, sorry.

Azula: Please!

Me: no.

Azula: But-

Me: no.

Everyone runs as Azula is killed by zombies.

Me: I think we're safe.

Sokka: Yah! No more zom-

Sokka is killed by flaming arrow.

Katara: Awesome! I'm an only child!

Everyone looks at her in disgust.

Katara: What?! I'm free!

Katara is then decapitated by chainsaw zombie.

Katara's head: OH C'MON!!

Zuko: KATARA!

Me: Zuko, wait!

Too make long story short: too late.

Me: There is the exit!

Giant Monster blocks the exit.

Monster: Me hungry!

Me: (picks up Aang): Have a tasty airbender!

I throw Aang at monster. The monster eats him.

Monster: Yum yum!

I go through the exit and appear back in the summer house.

Me: Well, looks like the Gaang is dead. Best go sell their stuff on eBay.

The Gaang appears unharmed and extremely angry.

Me: Hey guys! That sure was fun, wasn't it?

Azula: Zombies, attack!

The Resident Evil zombies chase me.

Me: Another chapter where I'm attacked. Sigh. Anyways,

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

…

Good chapter? I thought it was. Read and REVIEW! I do not own the Resident Evil franchise, Verizon, Geek

Squad, or Avatar! Funny, I haven't but the Avatar disclaimer on any of my chapters since the first. It's a marvel

I have not been sued yet… Anyway, goodb…

Battle Axe: WAIT! I HAVE'NT BEEN IN THIS CHAPTER AT ALL!

Me: Actually, with that outburst, you have!

Battle Axe: HEY, DON'T-

Me: BYE!


	10. The Origin of Super Toph!

What's up readers! It's the 10th chapter of The Gaang and I! Enjoy! Don't own Avatar!

...

Sokka: Pandemonium!

Me: Why do you say that?

Sokka: No reason. I just like that word.

Aang: Pandemonium!

Me: You like that word too?

Aang: No! Azula is trying to kill me!

Azula: DIE AVATAR!!!

Me: Hey! No fire in my house!

Azula: Says who?

Me: Says the guy with the battle axe as a friend!

Battle Axe: Yeah!

Azula: That thing gets less threatening every chapter.

Battle Axe: She hur-hurt my fe-feelings!

Battle Axe runs away crying.

Me: BA, come back!

Azula: Now where was I?

Sokka: About to kill Aang.

Azula: That's right! Thanks Sokka, your death will now only be half as painful.

...

Azula and Aang run into Toph's room.

Azula: YOU SHALL DIE AVATAR!!!

Aang: DON'T KILL ME!

Toph: Will you guys get out! I'm reading!

...

Author (who is typing chapter): 'I'm reading!'

Luna-Cat-Kitty: Um...Toph is blind.

Author: Oh right.

...

Azula and Aang run into Toph's room.

Azula: YOU SHALL DIE AVATAR!!!

Aang: DON'T KILL ME!

Toph: Will you guys get out! I'm watching T.V.

...

Luna-Cat-Kitty: Dear Agni! SHE'S BLIND!

Author: Okay!

...

Azula and Aang run into Toph's room.

Azula: YOU SHALL DIE AVATAR!!!

Aang: DON'T KILL ME!

Toph: Will you guys get out! I'm doing nothing in particular!

...

Author: Better!?

Luna-Cat-Kitty: Yes.

...

Toph: I'm sick of people not respecting my space and personal items.

Me (appearing out of nowhere): Name one time-

**ITERRUPTED BY FLASHBACK**

Toph: Where is my Earth Rumble belt?

Zuko: We sold it.

Toph: WHAT!? WHY!?

Katara: The idiots bought a Xbox 360.

Me: But we already have one!

Zuko: Oops.

**END FLASHBACK**

Me: Oh.

Toph: Now could you guys respect me from now on?

All: Sure!

Toph: Great!

Aang: Toph, can I use your headband to make a slingshot?

Toph: No, I-

Aang: Yes? Thanks Toph!

Aang takes headband and runs off.

Toph: GRRRRR!

Me: I better go! (Runs off)

Toph: THAT DOES IT! My sick of everyone mistreating my stuff! They will all pay! But I need another identity. I will now become... SUPER TOPH!!!!

Toph puts on cape and mask.

Toph: Time to get my revenge!

...

Everyone but Toph arrives in living room with mysterious invitations they received.

Sokka: I KNEW IT! This is a surprise party celebrating my incredible sword/boomerang skills!

Me: Sokka, we would rather go to a party that celebrated Ozai becoming king of apes then go to that.

Aang: That was a really poor attempt at burning Sokka.

Me: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BURN!

I fire bend at Aang.

Aang: How can you do that!?

Me: It's a fan fiction. I could fly with the power of a magic football helmet if I wanted.

Zuko (gliding by holding said football helmet): He's right you know.

???: If you idiots are done discussing the possibilities of fan fiction, I will take my revenge!

Super Toph appears out of nowhere.

Super Toph: Prepare to be destroyed!

Super Toph throws giant boulder down at us.

Me: But this is a fan fiction, we can't die unless the author instructs us to.

Author: Hmmm...

Me: DON'T EVEN CONSIDER IT!!!

Author: Darn.

I turn boulder into giant net and capture Super Toph.

Super Toph: Damn you possibilities of fan fiction!

...

I remove Toph's cape and mask.

Me: I hope you learned your lesson, Toph.

Toph: Yeah, I-

All but Me and Toph: WAIT! TOPH WAS SUPER TOPH ALL ALONG?!

Me: SERIOUSLY?! YOU GUYS ACTULLY PUT THAT JOKE IN THERE THINKING IT WAS FUNNY?! BAD AVATAR CAST!

All: We're sorry.

Me: Ok then, Toph, you were saying?

Toph: I'm sorry I did that.

Me: Thank you, and we're sorry we didn't respect you.

Toph: Really?

Me: Yeah, I figure we had to work in a message there somehow.

Toph: Thanks, guys.

Everyone hugs, makes up, yada-yada-yada.

Me: Author, can you end the chapter, please.

Author: Can we please talk about this killing cast members thing.

Gives Author evil look.

Author: Another time, perhaps. heh...heh

...

Yay! Chapter 10! I have to admit that I don't think it is my best work, but who cares? A chapter is a chapter! I want to thank Luna-Cat-Kitty for

being in this chapter and reminding me that Toph is blind! Please read and REVIEW!!!


	11. The Epic Shipping Chapter!

Another chapter! Hooray!

...

Me: Everyone! Family meeting! Now!

Toph: We're a family?

Me: I'd say we are.

Katara: I don't see us as that.

Aang: Me neither.

Sokka: No.

Azula: Definitely not .

Zuko: In no way at all.

Me: Like it or not, you guys are family, that is also why I'm making you guys date each other.

All: WHAT!!!!!!!!

Me: This story is in total lack of shipping's. So I'm making every ship go on a date.

Aang: What are shipping's?

Me: Well, ignorant Avatar, A shipping is when two characters of a show love each other. They are recognized usually by their mashed together

names, like Zutara, Kataang, Tokka, and so forth.

Zuko: So you're going to make every ship go on a date?

Me: Yep, starting with Zutara, have fun!

Zuko and Katara: Yikes!

...

**ZUTARA! **(This would be an excellent time for Kataangers to go to the bathroom...)

Me: Zuko, Katara, you guys will be going on a romantic dinner date!

Katara: Yay!

Zuko and Aang: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

Katara: Uh...I said 'nay!', Nay to this dinner date!

Me: Too bad! Cue romantic dinner!

Katara: How did we end up here so fast?!

Zuko: No idea.

Katara: So...

Zuko: So...

Katara: How are things?

Zuko: Things are well.

Katara: Uh Zuko. I THINK YOUR food is HOT.

Zuko: It is. Why did you capitalize I THINK YOUR... Oh, I think I answered my own question .

Katara: The truth is Zuko, the show obligates me to like Aang, but I like you more!

Me: HA!

Aang: NO!

Zuko: Katara, I do like you better than Mai.

...

Somewhere in the Avatar Universe:

Mai: OW!

Ty-Lee: What is it Mai?

Mai: I felt a disturbance, like Zuko proclaiming his love to someone but me!

Ty-lee: That's too bad, by the way, have you seen Azula, it's been a week and I can't find her anywhere!

...

Aang: I have to stop this!

Aang picks up bow and arrow and aims it at Zuko.

Me: No!

I throw a random cat at Aang.

Aang: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW1

Zuko: Did you here Aang's girly squeal?

Katara: No.

They kiss.

Me: That wraps up that date.

...

Me: Now let's see some dates that are never going to happen!

**AZUKO**

Azula: You sick twisted little boy!

Me: Ok, let's skip that one.

**KAOKKA**

Me: Katara (ow!) stop (ow!) with (ow!) water whips!

**AAZULA**

Me: For Aang's sake, let's not go there.

...

Me: It is my obligation to present this next date.

**KATAANG **(shield your eyes, Zutarians, shield your eyes!)

Aang: Isn't this date nice, Katara.

Katara: Yeah. Aang?

Aang: Yes, my love?

Katara: Can you put this mask on?

Aang: But it's a Zuko mask!

Katara: Yes, and it'll make this date go by a lot faster.

...

Author: Sorry, but I can't stand to write any more of that date.

The Golden Warrior: But the Zutara date was longer!

Author: And your point is?

The Golden Warrior: You have to add more!

Author: No!

The Golden Warrior: WAAAAAAAAAAAA! KATAANG!

Runs away crying.

Me: Okay. On to the last two dates!

...

**TOKKA**

Toph: For the last time, Sokka, the muscles on your arm aren't that big .

Sokka: Oh yeah? Let's see yours.

Toph: OK.

Lifts up sleeve.

(Copy and Paste your own unbelievably hug version of Toph's arm)

Sokka: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

...

Me: Last, but not least...

**TOKO!!!!**

Zuko: So Toph, How have you been-

Toph kisses Zuko.

Toph: Yes!

Zuko: ...

...

Me: And that's the end of the dates and the end of this chapter-

Kataanger's led by The Golden Warrior: There he is!!!!

Me: Uh-oh, BYE!!!

Takes off screaming.

...

Nice Chap? listen, I'm not being prejudice on the Kataang date thing. I was running out of idea's. I want to thank The Golden Warrior for being in

this chap. Don't own Avatar. See you!


	12. The Effects of Cactus Juice!

Chapter 12! I don't own Avatar!

...

Zuko and Katara are making out on the couch.

Me: Guys?

Z & K: ...

Me: Guys?

Z & K: ...

Me: Guys!

Z & K: WHAT?!

Me: Pose for the picture.

Katara: What is it for?

Me: To rub in Aang's face!

Zuko: Cool.

Goes back to making out.

Me: Hey Aang.

Aang: Yeah?

Me: Look!

Shows picture.

Aang: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! IT BURNS!!!!!!!!

Me: Sweet.

Sokka comes running in.

Sokka: GUYS!!!!!!!

Me: Sokka, is Toph hurting you again?

Sokka: No.

Me: Is Azula?

Sokka: No.

Me: Is the little girl down the street-

Sokka: Why do you assume I'm being maimed by girls?

Me: Because it's the most plausible explanation for your girlish scream.

Sokka: I hate you.

Me: I graciously return the gesture, but anyway, what were you screaming about?

Sokka: THE PORTAL IS ON THE T.V. AGAIN!

Me: Everyone to the T.V. room!

Looks at Zuko and Katara still making out.

Me: Guys?

Z&K: ...

Me: Forget it.

...

Me: Okay Gaang, anyone can come out of the T.V., so anyone who wants to bet speak up.

Toph: I bet Iroh and my parents!

Sokka: I bet Yue or Suki!

Azula: I bet Ozai, Ty-Lee, or Mai!

Aang: I bet Appa, Momo, or Combustion Man!

Me: OK, bets taken! Let's see who it is!

Something comes out of portal.

Toph: IT'S-

Sokka: IT'S-

Azula: IT'S-

Aang: IT'S-

Me: OMG, IT'S A TEAPOT!!!

Silence.

Me: What? I think anyone would be pretty jazzed to see a teapot come out of their television!

Iroh pops out of portal.

Iroh: My tea!

Me: Mighty?

Iroh: Yes, my tea.

Me: Mighty?

Iroh: Yes.

Me: OK then.

Toph: Yes, I won the bet!

Me: My lawyer say otherwise.

Toph: Lawyer?

Sushi: That's me!

Sokka: SHE'S your lawyer?

Sushi: Yes, and I point to this flashback as proof Toph didn't win the bet.

**FLASHBACK**

'Toph: I bet Iroh and my parents!'

**END FLASHBACK**

Sushi: As you can see, Toph said AND her parents, not OR, and since her parents aren't here, the bet lost.

Me: Thank you, lawyer Sushi, here's a cookie.

Sushi: COOKIE! (Takes cookie and runs off)

Me: Now that is settled, on to- wait? Where's Iroh?

Azula giggles.

Me: Azula, you killed him didn't' you?!

Azula: No, but that is a great idea, I slipped cactus juice in his tea while you were dealing with the betting issue and what not.

Me: WHY?

Azula: To give you a hard time. Bye!

Aang: So where is -

Iroh: I AM THE MONKEY MAN!!!!

Sokka: GET HIM OFF Me!

Me: Run!

Everyone runs to next room except for Sokka.

Me: Oh Sokka, you poor, poor, imbecile.

...

Me: OK guys, we need a plan.

Toph: What do you propose we do?

The Joker: It's simple. We kill the Batman!

Silence.

Aang: Who the hell invited him.

Me: I don't know. But I know how he's getting out!

Kicks Joker out of story.

Me: Anyway, I have a plan!

...

Zutarakid50: Why do you want me to stand in front of this cage wearing a matador costume?

Me: No reason, no reason at all...

Zutarakid50: Okay...

Iroh comes around corner and sees Zutarakid50.

Iroh: PANDA!!!

Iroh runs to Zutarakid50.

Zutarakid50: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I pull Zutarakid50 out of way as Iroh runs into cage.

Me: Ha! I saved you, you owe me one.

Zutarakid50: You moron.

Me: No, Zutarakid50, Ozai is Moron.

Kicks her out of chapter.

Me: Well, that wraps up today, good night everyone.

Everyone: Good night.

Iroh: Spinach Salsa!

Me: Sure you are Iroh, sure you are...

...

Cool chap? Please review! Thanks for Sushi and Zutarakid50 for being in this chapter! Oh, one more thing:

Zuko and Katara are still making out.

Author: Okay, right where I left them! See ya!


	13. Teeth!

Yeah, another chapter! I'm on a roll! I don't own Avatar!

...

Me: Time for dessert!

Aang: Dessert?

Me: Yes Aang, dessert is when you eat a snack after dinner.

Aang: I know what dessert is! But we haven't actually have dinner yet!

Me: So?

Sokka: So this is actually dinner!

Me: Sokka, shut up.

Sokka: Yes, sir...

Me: Anyway, we are having APPLE PIE!!!

Gaang: YAY!!!

...

Everyone's eating pie.

Me: Katara?

Katara: Yes?

Me: Is your head attached to Zuko's shoulder?

Katara: No, but I wish it was...

Zuko: Your so cute when your laying on my shoulder...

They start making out..._again._

Me: Ugh..This is why I sometimes question why I support Zutara.

Imagines Aang and Katara kissing.

Me: Did anyone else feel shivers?

...

There is only one piece of pie left.

Everyone looks at pie, then at each other...

(Copy and Paste everyone in an epic battle over who gets the last piece)

Katara: Yay! I got the last piece!

Eats pie.

Katara: OW!!! My teeth!!!

Pull out marbles.

Sokka: There are my marbles!

Me: What were your marbles doing in my pie?

Sokka: I don't know exactly...

Zuko: So Sokka, you had lost your marbles?

Sokka: Yes, I lost my marbles!

Everyone giggles.

Me: Classic.

Katara: Excuse me! I'm in pain!

Me: Looks like we are going to the dentist!

Iroh: A what?

Me: A dentist is a person who tends to your teeth by sticking long, silver rods in your mouth! I think everyone needs their teeth checked!

Azula: I vote we skip the dentist and let Katara suffer!

Katara: WHAT!?

Me: No, we're going!

Gaang: Awwwww!

...

Dentist: Welcome! Who is my first victim-er-customer?

Throws Katara at dentist.

Me: Good luck! trust me, you'll need it!

...

Katara comes back.

me: That was unnaturally fast.

Katara shows fixed teeth.

Gaang except Toph: THE SHINYNESS, IT BURNS!!!!!!

...

Author: And now the story will split into sections, anyone object?

Battle Axe: I do!

Author: TOO BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Enjoy!

**Me**

Me: Mr. Dentist?

Dentist: Yes?

Me: What's that on your wall?

Dentist: My award.

Me: For best dentist?

Dentist: No, for most malpractice cases!

Me: Gulp.

**Azula**

Dentist: OK, now open your mouth-

Azula fire-breaths.

Dentist: AHHH! FIRE HOT! FIRE HOT!

Azula: And water is wet. Can I go now?

Dentist: YES, DEAR GOD, YES!!!!

**Zuko & Iroh**

Basically same thing happened. Poor idiot dentist...

**Aang**

Aang: Dentist, why are you all burned?

Dentist: Shut...Up...And...Open...Wide!

**Sokka**

Dentist: Do you know that there is a colony of an unidentified race in here?

Sokka: Really? Only a colony? I thought it had spread to a country...

**Toph**

Dentist: Umm...You have a large amount of sand in your mouth...

Toph: Here, let me get that out.

Toph coughs out sand.

Dentist: SAND IN MY EYE! SAND IN MY EYE!!!

Toph: Crybaby.

...

Me: How much is the bill, Mr. Dentist?

Dentist: No bill...just leave.

Me: Uh. cool!

...

Back at house.

Me: Okay guys, time for bed!

Iroh: Wait!

Me: What?

Iroh: You left a major plot hole. I don't have a place to sleep!

Me: Great Scott! you're right! Author!

Author: On it!

A third floor with 2 more bedrooms appears.

Me: There, beds for you and Azula, enjoy. Let's go to bed-

Sokka: Wait!

Me: WHAT!?

Sokka: I lost my marbles again...

...

**Will Sokka find his marbles? Read the next chapter of The Gaang and I to find out!**

Sokka: Wait, here they are!

**Please forget the last bolded message. **

...

Please read and REVIEW!


	14. The Joy of Doing Nothing!

Another chapter! If you call this a chapter! I don't own Avatar!

...

Me: Hey guys, I'm bored.

Gaang: We are too.

Me: What should we do?

Zuko: How about nothing!

Me: Great idea!

Zuko: I was joking...

Me: Extreme nothingness, starting...NOW!

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Me: Bored of doing nothing yet?

Gaang: No.

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Me: Now?

Gaang: No.

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Me: How about-

Gaang: NO!!!

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Me: Well, time for bed.

Toph: I can't believe we spent a whole chapter doing NOTHING!

Me: I'm sure the readers will think it's funny. Right readers?

Winks at readers.

...

Interesting chapter? Tell me! Vote whether it was good or bad at my new poll at my page! Send Reviews! You know you will. That's a good reader...


	15. The Gaang and I: The Musical!

New Chapter! Hopefully this will redeem the last chap if you hated it! Don't own Avatar!

Warning: This chapter includes crappy lyrics to crappy songs I made up. You hath been warned!

(Italics = Singing voice)

...

I wake up.

_Me: What an excellent morning..._

Me: What, did I just sing!?

_Me: What an awesome day..._

Me: Okay, this is really out of the ordinary!

_Me: There's not a cloud in the sky..._

Me: Someone, please make this stop!

_Me: I'm going to have a cool day!_

Me: Why-wait, did I just rhyme day with day?

Starts dancing to living room.

Me: Guys, for some reason I'm dancing and singing like a moron!

Sokka: Maybe you're just a moron!

Me: Oh Sokka, if I had control of my legs I would hurt you.

Iroh: _You young ones should help him while I drink tea!!!_

Me: _Gasp! Iroh's singing too!_

Zuko: Will you guys stop singing! _It annoys me so much!_

Toph: Everyone, STOP SINGING!

Sokka: _OK Toph!_

Gets hit with rock.

Zuko: Who could be doing this?!

Katara: I know! This is horrible!

Iroh: This is cruel!

Me: THIS IS SPARTA!!!!

Silence...

Me: I'll just...uh...sit down now.

Aang: It's probably Azula doing this! She's evil!

Sokka: _Let's find her NOW!_

Gets hit by rock.

Sokka: TOPH!

Toph: You had it coming...

* * *

In Azula's room...

Azula: _I love rainbows and unicorns and everything pretty!_

* * *

Outside Azula's room...

Everyone: Wait-why-huh-say what?

* * *

In Azula's room...

Azula: _I love them even more if they were BURNING IN A HAVEN OF UNHOLY FIRE!!!_

* * *

Outside Azula's room...

Everyone: Now that's more like it!

* * *

In Living Room...

Me: At least it can't get any worse.

Toph: Why do you say that?

Me: It's already gotten so bad. Look; Zuko, Aang, Sokka, and Iroh have formed a barbershop quartet!

(Copy and Paste your version of Zuko, Aang, Sokka, and Iroh as a barbershop quartet) (No, seriously. Picture it. I dare you!)

Toph: _How can we fix th-_Damn it, I'm singing too!

Me: Whoever is causing this, reveal yourself(s)!

???: We doing this, man!

Me: Not you Idiots!

Nomads(from 'The Cave of Two Lovers'): Yes, man, it's us!

Toph: Why are you doing this!

Nomad: We're doing it to spread the power of love through song!

Me: Well stop!

Nomad: There is nothing that can-

I make them vanish.

Toph: Where did you send them?

Me: Somewhere where they will be trapped forever!

Toph: The Sun?

Me: Yep.

Toph: But they won't be trapped forever, they'll disintegrate upon touching the surface.

Me: Oops...

Toph: At least everyone has stopped singing!

Sokka: _La La La..._

Me: Sokka, why are you still singing?

Sokka: I'm expressing myself through song.

I make Sokka vanish.

Aang: Where did you send him?

Me: Somewhere where he will be trapped for awhile.

Aang: The Moon?

Me: Yep.

Aang: But there's no oxygen on the moon...

Me: I really need to go back to school...

Everyone: Agreed.

Me: So, ice cream?

Everyone: Sure!

...

Like it? Review! I'm trying to reach 100 reviews! ONLY YOU CAN MAKE THAT HAPPEN Sigh...School is next week, I won't be able to write a lot. See you until next time!


	16. Back to School!

Boo! It's back to school time! Luckily, this new chapter will cheer you up! Don't own avatar!

...

Me: Zuko?

Zuko: ...

Me: Zuko?

Zuko: What?

Me: Something wrong?

Zuko: Something's staring at me.

Aang: It looks like a pile of cash with googly eyes.

Me: Oh, that's the money you could be saving switching to Geico.

Katara: Are you authorized to use that Geico reference?

Me: I'm sure they're okay with it, right Geico guys?

Geico Guys: No, we're suing you.

Me: Crap.

Toph: That's what you get for that lame Geico reference.

Me: It could be worse, I'm not self-advertising. It's not like I would tell my readers I now have a Twitter account under the name

'OneWingedPerson' and that they should follow me!

Sokka: But you just-

Me: Sokka, what did I say about speaking without being spoken to first?

Sokka: To not to...

Me: That's right.

Zuko: Okay...

Me: Anyway, see you guys!

Iroh: Where are you going!?

Me: School.

Toph: But a few chapters ago you said you just got out of school.

Katara: Which we agree you never went to.

Glares at Katara.

Katara: Sorry...

Me: That chapter may have only been 8 chapters ago, but a LONG time past between. So now it's the first day of high school.

Gaang: Can we come?

Me: HAHAHAHA- wait. You guys are SERIOUS!?

Gaang: Yep.

Me: No, you can't come.

Gaang: Awww... Why?

Me: You guys will probably get me expelled by the end of the day.

Gaang: (Pouts)

Me: See you...

* * *

On Bus...

Me: Hey, Sushi!

Sushi: Hey!

Me: How was your-

Sushi: Uh, your backpack is moving.

Me (opens backpack): What could- OH MY GOD, HOW DID YOU ALL FIT IN HERE!!!

Gaang: We...uh...don't know exactly...

Me: Great. Well, you guys will be in my school today.

Gaang: Yay!

* * *

**1st Period-Biology**

Teacher: Now proceed to cut the frog.

Aang (cries): POOR FROGGY!!!

Me: Wimp.

Looks at frog.

Me: Thanks a lot Aang, you ruined it for me!

* * *

**2nd Period-Gym**

Teacher: Today, we'll be playing dodge ball!

Zuko: Sweet!

Makes Dodge ball out of fire.

Me: Zuko! NO!

Throws fire ball.

Me: Zuko! You incinerated the gym teacher!

Zuko: Oops...

* * *

**3rd Period-Algebra**

Teacher: Ms. Katara, what's 6+7-9+4-3+8-1+4?

Katara: Umm...

Teacher: To slow! You failed this class!

Katara: WAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Teacher: Hey crybaby! There's no crying in algebra!

Katara kicks teacher in shin.

Teacher: OW! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

* * *

**4th Period-English**

Teacher(points at Toph): You! Read this passage!

Toph: Uh...blind.

Teacher: That's not the right passage.

Toph: No, I'M blind.

Teacher: That's still not the right one.

Toph: No! I'M BLIND AND I CAN"T READ!

Teacher: What passage are you reading from?

Toph: Arrg!

* * *

**Lunch**

Iroh: This is great meat lo-OMG IT'S ALIVE!

Meat loaf eats Iroh.

Me: Damn it, Iroh!

Jumps in after him.

Iroh: I'm okay! I'm just traumatized and reeking of rotten meat!

* * *

**6th Period-History**

Teacher: Mr. Sokka, about your continent location test...

Sokka: What about it?

Teacher: Let's see, you labeled Antarctica 'The Water Tribe', China 'The Earth Kingdom', Germany 'The Fire Nation', and The Americas 'The Air Nomads'.

Sokka: But that's right.

Teacher: Sokka, you are, what's the word , an imbecile.

* * *

**7th Period-Spanish**

Teacher: Fuego means fire in Spanish!

Azula: Fire!

Gets excited and sets school on fire.

* * *

Teacher: OMG I'M ON FIRE!!!

Students: OMG WE'RE ON FIRE, TOO!!!

Everyone runs outside.

Principal(points to Gaang and I): You all are expelled!

Me: NOOOO- wait, I don't have to go to school anymore!

Aang: It was a happy ending after all!

Me: Let's go home!

Everyone walks home.

...

Good? Please REVIEW! I'm about 20 away from 100! I don't own Geico or Twitter.* Cough*Be sure to follow OneWingedPerson on

Twitter*Cough* I want to thank Sushi-rocks-emo-kids AKA Sushi for being in the chapter. See you until next time!!!


	17. Can We Keep It!

I'm baaack! Sorry I took too long updating. I had school (funny, even after burning it down, I still have to go...) and writers block. On with the show!

...

Aang: DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES?!

Sokka and Zuko: YES WE LIKE WAFFLES!

Aang: DO YOU LIKE PANCAKES?!

Sokka and Zuko: YES WE LIKE PANCAKES!

Aang: DO YOU LIKE FRENCH TOAST?!

Sokka and Zuko: YES WE LIKE FRENCH TOAST!

Aang, Sokka, and Zuko: DO DO DO DO, CAN'T WAIT TO GET A MOUTH FULL!!!

Me: What are guys _doing_?

Zuko: We're randomly singing nonsense songs!

Iroh: Nonsense songs?

Zuko: Yes, nonsense songs!

Iroh: Can I join?!

Zuko: Sure!

Zuko and Iroh: OH, NONSENSE SONGS, NONSENSE SONGS, We LOVE NONSENSE SONGS...

Me: SILENCE!!!

Katara, Toph, and Azula walk in.

Katara: YOUR NOT GOING TO BELIEVE WHAT WE FOUND!

Me: Sokka's brain or Zuko's emotions?

Sokka and Zuko: hey...

Toph: Don't be silly...those are impossible to find!

Sokka and Zuko: HEY?!

Azula: Even better...A PUPPY!!!

Katara holds out puppy. (copy and paste what it looks like to you.)

Aang: A puppy! SQUEE!

Silence...

Me: Aang.

Aang: Yes.

Me: Please turn in your man badge.

Aang: Again?

Azula: Anyway...

Girls: CAN WE KEEP IT?!

Me: I don't know...

Katara: We'll all take care of it! And it could share Sokka's litter box!

Sokka: Hey!!!...I quit using that weeks ago!

More awkward silence...

Me: Sokka, that was a joke.

Sokka: What was?

Me: Forget it.

Girls: So?

PLEASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSE?

Me: OK! Enough of the harmonious pleases! Yes, we can keep!!!

Gaang: YAY!

Me: We'll have to name it...

Aang: We can name it Appa 2.

Toph: What ever happened to Appa?

SOMEWHERE IN THE AVATAR UNIVERSE...

Appa(wakes up): Aang...Sokka...Katara...Toph?! WHY AM I ALONE?!?!

BACK IN ARE WORLD...

Sokka: How about Cat!

Everyone stares...

Still staring...

Almost done...

Me: Sokka-you know, I don't have a retort.

Azula: Here's the best answer!

Pushes Sokka down a well.

Me: Why is there a well in my living room?

Everyone shrugs.

Katara: Back to names, how about Spot?

Me: Katara, be careful, too much imagination could get you into trouble!

Katara: I have imagination!

Me: I was sarcastic.

Toph: How about Pebbles?

Zuko: How about Flameo?

Azula: How about Destructo?

Iroh: How about Lu-Tein?

Toph: You want to name a dog after your son?

Iroh: Why not?

Me: How about you all be quiet while I think.

Several moments that require thinking later...

Me: I got it!

Aang: You picked a name?

Me: No, but I got an idea!

Toph: What is it?

Me: We let the reviewers decide!

**IMPORTANT PSA!**

**Okay readers, I need you to come up with names for the dog. Post the name you think is best on your review for this chapter! I'll pick the**

** best one, so get to name creating!**

**END OF IMPORTANT PSA!**

Me: So that will decide the name!

Aang: Cool!

Katara: Awesome!

Zuko: Hey guys?

Me: Yes?

Zuko: Where did the dog go?

**To be continued...**

...

Did you like it? My first two-parter! Be sure to get working on awesome dog names! BTW it's a guy dog. Please review! PS: I don't own the Waffle

Song. I don't even know who created it...


	18. Can We Keep It! Part 2

Now the second part of 'Can We Keep It?!' Thanks to all who reviewed and sent in their dog names!

...

Zuko: Where could the dog be?

Katara: Is he safe?

Aang: Does this scab look funny to you?

Me: STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS!

Katara: Let's search the house!

All: Okay!

(Everyone leaves)

Me: Oh, and Aang.

Aang: Yeah.

Me: I _would _get that scab checked out if I were you.

...

In Bathroom:

Zuko: Not in here.

Katara: Darn. Speaking of the dog, have you picked any names for it yet?

Me: I have suggestions, how about Teriyaki?

RioPride: What...I was hungry...

Me: Stop quoting your review! All in favor of Teriyaki?

All: Nah

RioPride: (Cries)

Me: Another person's dream crushed... Job well done.

Iroh: There's something in the toilet.

Me: Okay, there are many things that could be in the toilet, and I _really_ don't want to see any of them.

Katara: OMG!!! It's Sokka!

Sokka: Hi Guys!

Me: Sokka...you're in the...toilet.

Sokka: Yeah...I don't know how I got here exactly.

Simsbabii: You guys need to find Waffles!!!

Iroh: Uh...Waffles?

Simsbabii: Yeah, the dog.

Me: We're not naming it Waffles.

Simsbabii: You stink (Throws egg at me)

Me: That was odd.

Aang: We need to find the dog.

Sokka: But guys...

Me: Bye Sokka (flushes)

Sokka: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

...

In My Bedroom...

Toph: I don't see him.

Me: Uh...You can't see anything...

Azula: He was here though...

Me: How can you tell?

Azula: Because of the surprise Aang is standing in.

Aang (looks at shoes): DAMNIT!!!

Things24: Ha Ha!

Iroh: And you're here, why...?

Things24: To help find Sparky Jr.

Zuko: Sparky-who what?

Me: Hmmm... Not bad, but we'll have to pass.

Things24: Combustion Man!!! Destroy them!!!

Combustion Man: That's not my name.

Things24: Fred?

Combustion Man: No.

Things24: George?

Combustion Man: No

Things24: Bob?

Combustion Man: There you go.

Things24: Hey! They're gone!

Combustion Man: I'm still getting paid for this...

Things24: Crap!

...

Me (pants): That was close!

Toph: Where are we?

Me: The Kitchen.

Narnia's Protector: Could Boomi be in here?

ZutaraKid50: You mean Cabbage, right?

The Golden Warrior: I assume you mean Foofoocuddlypoops!

All Three: Fight to the death!!!

(Copy and paste your fight to the death)

Aangsty Aangster: Fighting over name?

Me: Yep!

Aangsty Aangster: How about my suggestion?

Me: BOB (Big obese Basstard)?

Aangsty Aangster: Yeah.

Me(Glares): Get out of my story.

Luna-Cat-Kitty: That'll show him. So what do you think of Gandalf?

Melissa3000: ...Or Jet?

Me: THAT'S IT!!! Let me get this over with! You!

iCosplayer: Me?

Me: What's your suggestion?

iCosplayer: Mochi.

Me: Fun. Original. Exciting. Congratulations! You win! The dog's name is Mochi!

ICosplayer: Yay! What do I win?

Me: An imaginary cookie.

iCosplayer: COOKIE!!! (runs off)

All other Reviewers: But...But...But...

Me: No Buts! Off where you came from!

Reviewers leave.

Me: That solves that. But Mochi is still missing.

Katara: And Sokka is missing.

Sokka: I'm right here!

Toph: Sokka! (hugs)

Me: Toph, do you remember where we last encountered Sokka?

Toph: Yeah, in the...HOLY CRAP, GET OFF ME!!!

Sokka: Look who I found! (pulls out Mochi)

All: MOCHI!!!

Mochi: Bark! (actually, my name is...)

Azula: We're glad we found you!

Mochi: Bark! (ugh...never mind...)

Aang: Aww...He's happy to see us!

Mochi: Bark! Bark! (Over _freaking_ joyed...)

Me: Well, That ends this adventure!

All: Yay!

Mochi: Bark! Bark! Bark! (HELP! SOS! THESE CRAZY PEOPLE WANT ME TO BE THEIR PET!!!)

Me: Aww... Good Mochi!

...

Thanks for all the do names sent in! Hopefully I'll crank out a Halloween chapter! Bye!


	19. Halloween!

BOO! Did I scare you? No? Damn... Well, here's the Halloween chapter!

...

Me: BOO!

Silence...

Me: Did I scare you guys?

Katara: No...

Me: Damn...

Aang: Why does that sound so familiar?

Me: Shut up, Aang.

Aang: Yes, sir!!!

Me: Anyway, it's October 31!

Iroh: National Tea Day!

Toph: Everyday is National Tea Day to you.

Iroh: Yeah! Life rocks!

Me: Today is Halloween!!!

Katara: The day where we make out with people we love! (Grabs Zuko)

Me: No, Katara, that's Valentine's Day.

Katara: Crap...

Me: Halloween is when you dress up and get candy!

All: Yay!

Me: But first you HAVE TO have costumes.

All: Aww...

Me: Which shouldn't be a problem...

All: Yay!

Me: ...Because you all have costumes, right?

All: Aww...

Me: Stop doing that!

Azula: We don't have costumes!

Me: That's okay! We'll borrow an Automatic Costume Finder © from a random scientist!

Meanwhile at a random scientist's lab...

Random Scientist: MINE!

Back at the house...

Me: Or we could use this one right behind me!

Zuko: How convenient!

Sokka: Me first!

Me: Ok Sokka, step inside.

Sokka steps inside.

Me: He signed the warranty, didn't he?

All: No.

Me: Oh well.

Pulls lever.

(Copy and paste epic lights and smoke and such)

Sokka steps out.

Me: Sokka...what are you suppose to be?

Sokka (sings): MICHAEL JACKSON!!!

Silence

Me: It's a little too soon, don't you think. He just died and all... Never mind. Zuko, you're up!

Zuko steps in, then...

(Copy and paste what Zuko would look like dressed as a FAIRY PRINCESS!)(No, really. Do it. See what happens.)

Everyone stares at Zuko.

Me: Okay, we're all going to be mature about this...

3 seconds later...

Me: See, still mature...

2 seconds later...

Me: (giggle) I'm (giggle)not going to laugh(giggle)...

1 second later...

All: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHaHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Zuko: I hate you all so much...

Me: Ok, Toph, you're up.

Toph steps in...

All: Holy crap! You're Aang!

Toph: Well, I am a girl...

All except Aang: BURN!!!

Iroh: Oh! Me next!

Steps in...

Me: A giant cup of tea. Really?

Iroh: My fantasy come true! I AM TEA!!!

Me: Crap... Who is next?

Azula: Me!

Katara: No, me!

Both step in...

Katara & Azula: Conjoined Twins?!?!

Toph: Wow. Awkward.

Aang: ME ME ME!

Me: Fine.

Steps in...

Me: A...A...Aang?

Aang: I'm a...

All:...TURTLE?

Me: Now I'm sure I'm not going in there.

All except Me: (grabs my arms and legs.)

Me: You guys suck.

All: We know!

Throws in...

I step out...

All: (scream) IT'S HIDEOUS!!!

Me: Uh guys...nothing changed.

All: WE KNOW! YOU'RE JUST A HIDEOUS LOOKING PERSON!!!

Me: Glares

Katara: Lets go trick or treating!

All: Yay!

Power goes out...

All: Aww...

Power comes back...

All: Yay!

Power goes out again...

All: Aww...

Me: Okay, we _really_ need to stop doing that!

Toph: I can't see!

Sokka: Uh, Toph...

Me: Shut up! Ok, we need to not panic.

Zuko: We're all going to die!

Aang: Katara, hold me!

Me: The second thing we have to do is get the power back on!

Iroh: What's the first thing?

Me: To pry Aang off my leg.

...

In the Basement...

Azula: We have a basement?

Me: Apparently...

Zuko: There's the power switch!

Me: (pulls)

Aang: Still no power...

Me: Oh no! the battery is missing!

Mochi: BARK BARK! (Looking for this!?)

Katara: Mochi has the battery! Good dog!

Mochi: BARK BARK! (Send in the Zombies!)

Aang: Eek! Randomly appearing Zombies!

Me: Lets borrow a Zombie Repellent kit© from a random scientist's lab!

Meanwhile at random scientist's lab...

Random Scientist: ALSO MINE!!!

Back in Basement...

Azula: Or we can throw this picture at them!

Throws picture of Me to the Zombies.

Zombies: AHHH! IT'S HIDEOUS!!!

Runs Away...

Me: Everyone is always a freaking critic, aren't they?

Mochi: BARK BARK BARK! (NO! My plan is ruined! Oh well... Back to the lab!)

Iroh: We have the battery!

Puts in Power Switch...

Power comes back!

Me: Now we can go Trick R Treating!

In Living Room, 6 hours later...

Toph: So much candy...

Katara: Can't eat another bite...

Aang: I don't feel so good...(BOOM)

Me: I think Aang just exploded...

All: DON'T CARE!!!

...

Yes! Finally finished just on time! Please Review!!! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!


	20. The Gaang Gives Thanks!

Happy Early Turkey Day everyone! Celebrate with The Gaang and I's Thanksgiving Special!

...

Toph, Aang, and Zuko are watching T.V.

Toph: I'm Boooooooreed.

Zuko: How long has it been since you abused Aang?

Toph: Judging by today, uhh... An hour ago.

Zuko: He _is _right there.

Toph: Oh Aang...

Aang: Squeak! (Runs off)

Zuko: Did Aang just squeak?

Toph: Yep.

Zuko: Aren't you going to attack him?

Toph: No, I'll give him a head start.

Aang: Really?

Toph: No! (Tackles him)

Aang: MOMMY!!!

Zuko: -sigh- So bored.

Giant Turkey leaps on him.

Zuko: No! Swine Flu!

Giant Turkey: I'm not a pig!

Zuko: Oh, Bird Flu!

Giant Turkey: Close enough. (takes off head, revealing me.)

Me: HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Zuko: Why do you always attack me in giant animal suits!?

Me: This is the first time I've done it!

Zuko: Uh, do you even remember Easter?

**FLASHBACK**

Zuko: I wish something interesting would happen.

A giant bunny jumps on Zuko.

Aang: that seems interesting!

Zuko: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!

Me (who was inside the bunny costume): HAPPY EASTER!!!!!!

**END FLASHBACK**

Me: Oh...

Rest of Gaang walks in.

Iroh: What is this Thanksgiving?

Me: It's the time where we give thanks and stuff are faces with Turkey. And we're going to celebrate Thanksgiving this year.

Gaang: Yay!

Mochi: Bark! (Oh hell no! I'm staying out of this one!) (walks off)

Me: we'll need a few things first, so we'll split up into groups.

(Points at Toph, Zuko, and Katara)

Me: You will run to the store and get a Turkey.

(Points at Sokka, Iroh, Aang, and Azula)

Me: You will set the table.

Azula: What will you do?

Me: What else? Sit on my butt and watch the Parade.

...

(With Toph, Zuko, and Katara)

Katara: We're here at the supermarket!

Toph: Uh... Thanks for the update.

Zuko: Look, there's a Turkey left!

Toph: Let's get it!

ZutaraKid50: Not so fast!!!

Toph: Not you!

ZutaraKid50: Don't you mean, not us!

(Another Toph, Zuko, and Katara appear behind her)

Zuko: Don't tell me-

ZutaraKid50: That's right! They're from The Avatar Crew Comes to You!

Gaang: NO!

Crew: YES!

Zuko: Only one way to solve this. FIGHT TO THE DEATH!!!

(Copy and paste awesome fight)

Gaang: We won! We get the turkey!

ZutaraKid50: Blast!

Katara: As punishment for losing, ZutaraKid50 must spend Thanksgiving with us!

Zutarakid50: With you fools, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

...

Sokka, Iroh, Aang, and Azula: Table is set!

Toph, Zuko, Katara: Turkey is ready!

ZutaraKid50: And I'm still captured. Why am I in a net!

Me: Okay, we can start eating!

Gaang: Yay!

Me: AFTER we say what we're thankful for!

Gaang: Aww...

Me: Counter clockwise, Aang, you start.

Aang: I'm thankful that in the actual series, Kataang prevailed!

Iroh: I'm thankful for Tea!

Zuko: I'm thankful that my dad's rotting in a prison!

(Everyone stares)

Zuko: What?

Sokka: I'm thankful for my Boomerang!

Azula: I'm thankful for destruction!

Katara: I'm thankful for the new Twilight movie!

Me: (Throws piece of moldy bread at her)

Katara: Ow! Fine, I'm thankful for hope...

ZutaraKid50: I'm thankful that my story is still popular than yours!

Me: (cries silently for five minutes)

iCosplayer (who apparently appeared out of nowhere): (raises hand.)

Me: Let me guess, you're thankful for Manga.

iCosplayer: (lowers hand.)

Mochi: Bark! (I'm thankful all of you will die one day!)

Me: And I'm thankful because I finally got this chapter out just before Thanksgiving!

All: Let's eat!!!

...

Happy Thanksgiving to you all! Please Read and Review! And please read PSA below!

PLEASE READ BELOW!!!

PSA: I'm sorry to say I'll not be updating The Gaang and I for awhile. I'm am currently trying to write an actual book (surprised?) so my focus will

be on that. I will attempt to write a Christmas special later, but for now, please consider The Gaang and I on temporary hold. Thank You!


	21. The Ganng And I Christmas Party!

Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Happy...Hanukkah? Here's the long awaited Gaang And I Christmas special!!!

...

Me: Sokka...

Sokka: Yes?

Me: Go suck an egg.

Sokka: Why?

Me: Because I said so!

Sokka: No!

Katara: What are you guys fighting about now?

Sokka: He told me to suck an egg!

Katara: (sigh) Why did you tell Sokka to suck an egg?

Me: Because I'm in a bad mood...

Katara: Why?

Me: My laptop crashed.

Toph: Bummer.

Katara: I have an idea!

Me: I'm afraid to ask...

Katara: We can have a Christmas party!

Aang: CHRISTMAS!!! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS! TOYS!

Azula: Aang, Never. Do. That. Again.

Me: Katara, that sounds like a good idea!

All: Christmas party it is!

...

Me: The first step to having a successful Christmas party is decorating.

Sokka: Okay. Toph, can you Christmas tree bend a tree in here?

Toph: Uh, Sokka, I can't "Christmas Tree bend"

Sokka: Oh, Can you Tinsel Bend?

Toph: No.

Sokka: Can you Mistletoe bend-

Toph: DAMNIT SOKKA, I CAN ONLY EARTH BEND!!!

Sokka: You don't have to yell.

Toph: You're the one asking stupid questions!

Me: Guys, no fighting on Christmas! Let's put up the tree!

(20 minutes later)

Me: All done!

Iroh: That was surprisingly fast...

Sokka: Uh guys, I'M STUCK IN THE TREE!!!

Zuko: How did you do that???

Sokka: I don't know...

Azula: Can I set the tree on fire?

Sokka: NO!

Me: Not until after the party. Now, the next step to setting up a Christmas party is to invite people!

Zuko: Do you know anyone that likes you?

Me: Zuko, one of these days I will kill you...

Zuko: What?

Me: Nothing, on to the list!

...

Me: Okay, here are the people who are invited to the party:

INVITATION LIST:

ZutaraKid50

Sushi-rocks-emo-kids

iCosplayer

Talking2Myself

...

Me: And that's the list!

Toph: Who the hell is Talking2Myself?

Me: She writes an awesome Disney series, I thought I'd let her come to.

(DING DONG)

Me: Oh, they're here!

Zuko: ALREADY?

Me: Yep, let the party begin!!!

...

(Several minutes later)

Me: Now that everyone's settled in, I'll check on how they're doing.

ZutaraKid50: Why are you talking to yourself.

Me: Don't know...

Zutarakid50: Wait! Is that Sokka stuck in the Christmas tree!

Me: Yep

ZutaraKid50: Can I set him on fire!

Sokka: Again. NO!

Me: Sorry, Azula has dibs on that.

ZutaraKid50: Oh... Can I poke him repeatedly with this long candy cane?

Me: Knock yourself out.

ZutaraKid50: Yay! POKE! POKE! POKE! POKE! POKE! POKE!

Sokka: HELP!!!

...

Me: Talking2Myself, are you enjoying the party?

Talking2Myself: I don't know anyone here! These are all your friends.

Me: Then go and MINGLE!

(Pushes Talking2Myself to go mingle)

Me: So far this party is a success.

Sushi: HEYWHAT'SUPTHISGGNOGISGOOD!

me: Sushi, you're more hyper than usual, what gives?

Sushi: IT"STHENOGBYE!!!

Me: Okay...

Toph: You have to come quick!

Me: Why?

Toph: Iroh and iCosplayer are about to have a tea-off!

Me: What's a tea-off?

Toph: They're about to see who can drink the most tea!

Me: This I got to see...

...

(Iroh and iCosplayer are sitting at table, about to begin)

Iroh: Do you really think you can out drink me?!?!

iCosplayer: Yes, yes I can! MUHAHAHA!!!

Iroh: Let me pull out my "special tea cup"!

Me: What's so special about it?

Iroh: It can talk!

Teapot: Hi everybody!

All: OMFG IT CAN TALK!!!

Teapot: Begin!!!

(Several cups of tea later)

(Iroh passes out)

iCosplayer: Victory is mine!

Iroh: No, now I have nothing...

Me: Okay, everyone. Let's finish the party with a Christmas Carol!

All: WHAT?!?!?

Me: We are going to sing The 12 Days of Avatar Christmas!

All: Okay?

Me: Everyone got the lyrics?

All: Yeah.

Me: Okay, a 1, and a 2, and a...

(Note: This is the shorten version of the song)

THE 12 DAYS OF AVATAR CHRISTMAS

_During the 12 days of Christmas, Santa gave to me:_

_12 Benders bending_

_11 warriors fighting_

_10 Air Nomads a' flying_

_9 Teenage Princes whining_

(Zuko: Hey...)

_8 Mai's a' sighing_

_7 Serpents a' swimming_

_6 Appa's a' shedding_

_5 Cups of tea!_

(Iroh and iCosplayer: SQUEE!)

_4 Lion turtles_

_3 Pai Sho tiles_

_2 Avatars_

(Aang: TWO!!!)

_And a Momo in a pine pear tree!_

...

Zuko: Wow...

Katara: That song is actually pretty catchy...

Zutarakid50: I already have it on my iPod!

Me: Well, party's over.

Guests: Bye!

Me: Okay Gaang, now it's time for your presents!

Gaang: Presents! Yay!

Me: Here...

Zuko: Wait, is this...A BILL!

Me: For staying in this house.

Gaang: Awww...

Me: Well, Christmas is over...

Azula: Does that mean...

Me: ...he's all yours.

Azula: Sweet! Oh, Sokka...

Sokka: Oh crap...

...

Was it a good Christmas chapter? I hope. Sorry if you weren't invited... Please Read and REVIEW!!! And have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

-OneWingedAuthor


	22. Torture!

Hey… This is awkward… I was on break… A 7 month break. Yeah, so I understand that you guys are pretty pissed. Don't worry, I get my comeuppance soon enough.

…

Katara: 7 months.

Me: Yes, I know.

Toph: We have been in Fanfiction limbo for 7 months! And it's all your fault!

(Tackles)

Me: Easy, easy! I had a good reason for the break. As established in the last chapter-

Aang: Published 7 months ago.

Me: Shut up! I said I was taking time off to write a book.

Zuko: How far are you?

Me: 5 chapters…

Azula: Kill him.

(Tackles)

? : Hold it!

Sokka: Who are you?

Readers: We are all the readers of this story!

Me: Oh crap…

Readers: We have been waiting 7 months for the next installment of this story. 7 months!

Me: Well, it's here, so I'll just go now…

Readers: Oh no! We get to torture you for making us wait!

Me: Torture?

Readers: Yep.

Me: But I don't want to be tortured…

Readers: To bad!

Me: You'll get me out of this. Right, Gaang?

-Silence-

Me: Gaang?

Iroh: Have him.

Toph: He's all yours.

Zuko: I would _love_ to see him tortured.

Me: That's my Gaang. Loyal as always.

(Drags off)

Me: Do I get a say in this?

Readers: No, for the rest of the chapter. You're our bitch!

…

Zuko: Guess what.

Iroh: Tea?

Zuko: Iroh, shut up.

Iroh: Yes, Zuko.

Zuko: Iroh!

Iroh: Yes, Zuko The Magnificent.

(Gaang stares.)

Iroh: A lot happened in limbo.

Zuko: Anyway, while we were in limbo, they made a movie about us!

Katara: Really?

Sokka: Yeah, M Night Shyamalan directed it, so it can't go wrong.

Toph: We should see it!

Gaang: Yeah!

2 hours later

Sokka: THE HORROR! THE HORROR!

Zuko (On ground sobbing): WHY? WHY? WHY?

Aang (Rolling on ground sucking his thumb): I'm in my happy place. I'm in my happy place…

Iroh: My name…Is not…EROH!

Katara: Let's pretend…We never saw it.

Toph: If anyone asks, we all saw Inception.

All: Deal.

…

Meanwhile, in a dark and scary place.

Me: Guys, come on, I said I was sorry!

Readers: That's not good enough. You, your turn.

Me: Whose turn?

iCosplayer: My turn!

Me: Oh, Lexi, hey. Wait, is that a taser?

iCosplayer: Yes, yes it is. (Tases me)

Me: OW! WHY? IT WAS A SEVEN MONTH BREAK!

…

Sokka: You know, it's very boring on our side of the story.

Toph: I wonder how those guys are torturing him.

Azula: I bet they tasered him!

Iroh: I don't think they would go that far…

Katara: Do you think we should save him?

Aang: Let's give him another hour. He can last.

…

Sushi: Hey!

Me: Sushi, thank god! Are you here to rescue me?

Sushi: No actually. I'm part of the mob.

Me: Of freaking course…

Sushi: I've been sent to kick you in an uncomfortable area.

Me: The head?

Sushi: Go lower.

Me: That's it! I've been hurt, violated, abused, tormented, tortured, battered, injured, tasered-

Sushi: Don't forget kicked. (Kicks me in uncomfortable spot)

Me: …_and kicked_…

Readers: OK, you're free.

Me: I am.

Readers: We figured you had enough after five days.

Me: I've been here for five days?

Readers: Your friends are here to pick you up.

Aang: You ok, buddy.

Katara: I think he's okay.

Me (Rocking back and forth): Nothings gonna harm you, not while I'm around…

Zuko (slaps me)

Me: Sorry, I had a Sweeney Todd moment. Can we go home now?

Toph: Sure.

Me: Yay…

…

There! Happy? A new chapter. Hopefully me getting tortured made up for the absence. I'll update soonish. Bye!


	23. The Return Of Super Toph!

Sokka: It sure took you awhile to update, you know

Me: Shut it, you twit

Sokka: Just saying…

Toph: Why did it take you so long?

Me: I HAVE A LIFE!

Gaang: He does?

Me: Blah! Anyway, I've been working on something new.

Katara: Oh? What is it?

Me: Well-

Sokka: Wait, are you about to plug, cause if you are-

Hit by wood board.

Me: Anyway, for my Death Note/ Beyond Birthday lovers out there I have a new fic titled Beyond's Benevolence. Be sure to review as well! Or else…

Aang: Or else what?

Me: I'll delete you from this chapter.

Aang: You can't do that-

Me: (points finger) Delete!

Aang: (fading away) What the hell? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Zuko: Oh my Agni!

Me: Zuko, what is are religion again?

Zuko: Sigh. We serve the great Kamina…

Me: Good.

Toph: Kamina from Gurren Lagann is not a god!

Me: The hell he isn't! That bastard died for your sins!

Azula: Uh, I think you have him confused with another person.

Me: Eh?

Iroh: Has a book about him, known to turn water into alcohol, loved by millions…

Azula: Name starts with a J and ends with a sus…

Me: Well, Kamina got epically sawed in half! He deserves to be a god!

Battle Axe: according to Fanfiction. Net's statistics, I think we just lost a lot of our hardcore Christian readers.

All: Oh no!

Battle Axe: But we see a gain in anime lover readers…

All: Yay!

Sokka: So much Nonsense…

Me: Shut it you!

Iroh: Anyway, What's the point of this chapter?

Azula: Yeah, nothing to drive the plot has happened yet.

Me: Don't worry, something out of the ordinary will happen anytime now…

(Five minutes later)

Zuko: Oh my-

Me: (glares)

Zuko: Kamina! The TV is glowing again!

Me: As expected…

Azula: Someone is coming through!

Toph: Five down on Appa!

Iroh: Ten on Ozai!

Sokka: Twenty on Katara!

Katara: I'm already here, dumbass!

Mystery person steps out.

Iroh: Yes! Papa gets a new pair of sandals!

Ozai: Where the hell am I?

Zuko: Sigh. Hi evil sadistic father.

Ozai: Sigh. Hi bratty whiny son.

Me: Aw. Don't you love father-son bonding!

Zuko & Ozai: Glare.

Azula: Daddy!

Ozai: Firecracker!

-Glomp each other-

All but the two: Firecracker?

Azula: Daddy! They were mean to me! Punish!

Ozai: You were mean to firecracker? Die!

SeverinxBotis: Stop!

Me: Yay, reader, save us from moron!

Ozai: Moron?

-Hands him copy of The Avatar Crew Comes To You!-

Ozai: Note to self: brutality kill ZutaraKid50

SeverinxBotis: You shall not harm Harry Potter!

(Slapped by Katara)

SeverinxBotis: You shall not harm One-Winged Author!

Ozai: Oh yeah? DELETE!

(SeverinxBotis fades away)

Me: I thought only I could do that?

Toph: Well, I know where this is going. (Leaves)

Cage drops on Gaang.

Me: Oi! Let us leave!

Ozai: Lettuce leaf?

Iroh: My tea!

Me: Mighty?

Sokka: Shut up!

Azula: Do you have plans for the bad people, Daddy?

Ozai: Oh, in due time Ty-lee…

Azula: I'm Azula.

Ozai: Who?

…

Meanwhile in a dark void:

Aang: So you're a Harley Quinn Fanatic?

SeverinxBotis: Yep. You're a monk?

Aang: Yep.

-Silence-

Severin: So, you want to be BFF's?

Both: HELL YEAH!

…

Meanwhile, in Toph's room…

Toph: With her friends captured by the fire lord, Toph is faced with a serious dilemma. Now, in a world of darkness, she must become… SUPER TOPH!

…

Meanwhile:

Ozai: Now for my master plan!

Sokka: 'Bout bloody time!

Ozai: The most evil plan for you all ever!

Katara: Oh god…

Me: (Coughs)

Katara: Oh Kamina, I'm scared…

Me: Don't worry, Ozai is an idiot. His plan can't be that bad.

Ozai: You will all be…in a lemon fic!

Silence

Me: Dude, that's disgusting!

Azula: Yeah, Dad, even I think that's way too far!

Ozai: SILENCE!

Sokka: DOGOOD!

All stare

Sokka: Look it up on Wikipedia…

Ozai: Now who's first?

CRASH!

Super Toph: You're time has come, Ozai!

Captured by Ozai

Toph: Damn, that was fast…

Katara: Toph, you are the worst super hero ever…

Ozai: Now, about the lemon fic-

Toph: What's a lemon fic?

Ozai: Well…

Me: Oh crap…

Iroh: What?

Me: They say every time you explain lemon to someone, an angel spontaneously combusts.

Sokka: You don't say…

Ozai: (Whispers in Toph's ear)

Toph: Oh…

…

Meanwhile, where ever angels hang:

Angel: So, what do you think about Obama care?

Angel 2: Well- (Combustes)

Angel: STEVE!

…

Aang: So, how do we get out of here?

Severin: Hey, I found a hole!

Aang: Shall we jump through not knowing what's in it?

Severin: Do you think M Night pissed on the movie adaption?

Aang: Jump it is.

…

Severin and Aang: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

CRASH! Again

Aang: What did we land on?

Ozai: Me…

Azula: And Me…

Me: Yay! We're freed!

Ozai: So, we're cool right?

Me: Yeah, about that… Delete!

(Ozai and Azula fade away)

Me: You okay, Toph?

Toph: I just lost my innocence. No biggie.

Me: Great, now we should-

Hit by board.

Sokka: Take that Sucka!

…

Please Review! And Please read Beyond's Benevolence! (And Review!) I like to thank SeverinxBotis for appearin in this chapter! (P.s. I hope I didn't offend anyone abut the Kamina god thing, sorry if I did!)


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